


Offer me that deathless death

by Florchis



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 4x07 - Deals with our devils, 4x07 spoilers, Coda Challenge @The FitzSimmons Network, Explicit Consent, F/M, Glad you are alive sex, Jemma's POV, Mixed feelings during sex, Not actual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 09:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8745826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: 4x07 SPOILERSThey have became quite skillful at that particular business that is “I’m-glad-you-are-alive” sex, and that fact alone makes Jemma feel like laughing, in that also familiar laugh-so-you-don’t-cry kind of way.





	

_The only heaven I'll be sent to_ _is when I’m alone with you._

They have became quite skillful at that particular business that is “I’m-glad-you-are-alive” sex, and that fact alone makes Jemma feel like laughing, in that also familiar laugh-so-you-don’t-cry kind of way.

Fitz’s mind seems laser-focused and Jemma is reminded of herself in Bucharest, and that piled up with the stressful events of the last couple of days makes her senses feel on fire and her feelings on edge. She tries to slow them down, there is a huge amount of things she doesn’t understand yet, and that has never sit well with her.

“Fitz. _Fitz._ Don’t you think we should slow down a little, talk a bit about what happened?”

His eyes are unfocused and it makes her gut clench with want. He wets his upper lip and her tongue mimics the movement unconsciously.

“If _you_ want to stop, Jemma, you know that I’d always stop. But don’t do it for me. I _need_ this.”

His voice is low and rough, and it is connected directly with all her pleasure centres.

“Okay.”

It’s different, both emotionally and physically, doing this because their bodies react naturally to each other than doing this _for_ him and _with_ him, full of consciousness and full of choice. His mouth finds her jaw, her cheek, her temple, her earlobe, and his voice is wet with emotion and with want.

“Do _you_ want this, Jemma?”

He needs to be reassured from time to time, and she doesn’t mind. Everyone has their own demons, and this doesn’t even qualify as an inconvenience in her book; she can be very vocal about how much she loves him and wants him and chooses him, it’s nice to know he wants to hear it too.

She takes his hands in hers, and kisses the inside of his wrists, first one, and then the other. Fitz sights and his eyes flutter closed. That is just one of the many things she loves about him: that he likes to be in charge as much as he likes to let her handle him.

“Yes, Fitz. I want to talk and I want to know _everything_ , but we can do that later, because I also want this, want you, want you to feel better and feel safe and feel loved. Could I do that?”

“Jemma, if there is a person on any dimension who could do that, it is you.”

“Good. Then lay down and let me take care of you.”

 

 

 

Things… don’t turn out as she thought they would after that exchange. She would have expected things to go slow and gentle, full of words of love and reassurance, not to find herself fully naked and spread on their bed, panting and breathless, while Fitz strokes her thighs kneeling beside her, still fully dressed. She is not complaining, she is just… _surprised_.

“Fitz.” She doesn’t know exactly what she is trying to achieve with calling him, his name is just something that is bubbling inside of her, strengthen by the warm and the sensations, and it spills out of her mouth when she can’t keep it in anymore.

“Yes, Jemma? What do you want?”

_Everything._

He has acted like this before, but those times he was playful and smug, taking pleasure in what he was able to do to her, but this time isn’t like the others. Now he is not exactly careful, but attentive, and he is using all of his best tricks to make her come undone without holding back, without refraining at the very last minute to make her groan in frustration.

She doesn’t want to answer the question, because she wants whatever he wants to give her, she wants to please him, she wants him to find in her the anchor to keep him tied to this world, to this dimension, to her. She wants him to be glad to be back and also wants to give him a reason to keep finding his way back.

She doesn’t want to answer the question and so she doesn’t, but her eyes may be enough, because Fitz bends forward and places one, two kisses on the valley between her breasts. It’s such a tender gesture, but it’s the last straw and her back arches up in pleasure while he tries to hold her down with a hand on her belly.

“Fitz. Don’t you want to-?” She makes a circular motion with her index finger and he shakes his head even before she can finish the entire sentence.

“I’m okay. Are you okay?”

It’s not the first or the second time he asks her how she is doing, and she fixes him with one of the Trademark Jemma Simmons’s Looks.

“I’m doing better than okay, don’t you think?”

He chuckles and lowers his eyes, while his right hand draws nonsense patterns on her thigh, her hip, the sensitive skin of her belly. She realizes suddenly that he hasn’t stopped the contact skin to skin since they were reunited. Up to this point, she knows him well enough to realise that, while he was the one who was intangible, he was more worried about not being able to touch her than about everybody else not being able to touch him.

This sweet silly man.

So she does the only thing that makes sense to her: she lifts her arms and puts her hands behind her head.

“What did you have in mind?”

That is not exactly what she wants to say, what she wants to say is _I’m yours_ , what she wants to mean is _I trust you with my life, I trust you enough to give you the freedom to do whatever you want knowing that it will be all about pleasure and not about pain_. But they’re both on edge, they had never talked about a safeword before and she is afraid that the tiniest mishap could broke him.

Also, they will have their entire lives together for her to say all that and so much more. She will make sure of that.

His eyes are sharp while his hands are soft and the contrast makes her breath hitch in her throat. His voice is firm while he speaks, even though his hands are slightly trembling against her skin.                 

“I want to make you come.” It’s such a simple request made in such a formal tone that she almost feels like laughing, but she is glad she didn’t when he speaks again. “I need to feel you alive under my fingers.”

She chokes on a sob and she is not exactly sad, she is just reminded of everything that has happened to them, of how many times they have come too close to lose each other. It’s powerful and overwhelming, but he is waiting eagerly for her answer, and she knows that today he probably remembered all that memories as clear as crystal; he doesn’t need to hear them in her voice.

There is not much she can do against that: what it was is what it was, and, luckily, what it is, for them, for now, is together. She can only be glad for that and not take anything for granted. She can only fight for them, for him, and try her damnest best to be by his side every step of the road.

She can only, for now, smile at him and try to make her voice firm and sweet. She is not sad, exactly, and she doesn’t want him to be discouraged thinking she doesn’t want this, she doesn’t want him. The remembrance only makes her want him more.

“Okay. I think we can do that.”

He smiles and she can’t read his face exactly, but that’s okay. He is his own person, and she will let him satisfy his needs, sort out his thoughts, calm down his feelings. He will come back to her to talk when he is ready. Meanwhile, she closes her eyes and enjoys his skillful touch on her, his nimble fingers, his fervent adoration.

  
They are both alive and they are together, and if sex is the best way they have to flip the cosmos off, so be it.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get this idea of Fitz prioritizing her pleasure out of my head. It doesn't go anywhere exactly, but I just had to write it.


End file.
